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Our Favorite Bike Jokes
An Engineer’s Priorities
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.” The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice; her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”
Rules of the Road
It was a beautiful day for riding... I was speeding on the center line down a narrow, twisting mountain road. Suddenly, a woman in a convertible in the oncoming lane, coming up the hill, came around the bend honking her horn and shouting at me “Pig!” “Pig!!” I flipped her the finger and shouted back “Bitch” “Cow!”................... That’s when I hit the pig!
It’s All Perspective
A pedestrian stepped off the curb into the road without looking and gets knocked down by a passing cyclist: “You were very lucky” said the cyclist... “What are you talking about” said the pedestrian, brushing himself off, “That really hurt!”. “I usually drive a really big truck” replied the cyclist.
Keystone Cops
A cyclist was stopped by customs at the border crossing: “What’s in the bags?” asked the officer, pointing to his bags. “Sand,” said the cyclist. “Let me take a look,” said the cop. The cyclist did as he was told, emptied th ebags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, refilled the bags, and continued across the border. A week later, the same thing happened, and continued every week for a year, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear. A few months later, the cop saw the cyclist living it up downtown. “You sure fooled us,” said the cop. “We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won’t say a word - but what was it you were smuggling?” “Bicycles” replied the cyclist.
Dedication
My grandma starting cycling at 97 years of age, she must have done 10 miles per day.............. we don’t know where the heck she is!
Yakiti Yak... don’t talk back
The tandem rider is stopped by a police car. “What’ve I done officer?” askes the cyclist. Perhaps you didn’t notice sir, but your wife fell off your back seat half a mile back...” “Oh, thank God for that,” says the cyclist... “I thought I’d gone deaf!”
Beautiful
A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl stopped beside him on her shiny bike. “Nice bike” says the cop... “Did Santa bring it to you?” “Yep,” the little girl said, “He sure did!” The cop looked the bike over and handed the little girl a $20 fine for a safety violation, saying “Next year tell Santa to put a light on the front of it.” The young girl looked up at the horse and then the cop and said, “Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?” “Yes, he sure did,” chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop and said, “Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.”
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